Friday, June 20, 2008

sex in irvine

funny pictures

Ya, that title is misleadingly provocative. What I mean is I finally saw the Sex and the City movie with my roommates on Thursday night. You all know everything there is to know about it, so I won't bore you with a review of a movie that came out a month ago, but I did want to briefly mention that I liked it a lot. At first I thought it was going to be super lame because of how everything in the first twenty minutes was panning out, but over all I thought it was a perfect end to six great seasons of a show any woman can relate to. And of course, it made me think about love and relationships, and what it really means to be with someone through thick and thin.

I read an article a few months ago titled "Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough", which I promptly forwarded to all of my best girl friends. I found the article through Martini, a happily single and fabulous girl about town who was somewhat skeptical about the whole idea of settling, but I felt strangely inspired and invigorated after reading the piece. Long story short, the author argues that women are often ingrained to have unrealistic expectations when it comes to relationships, particularly that they should never "settle for anything less than butterflies," to quote Carrie Bradshaw. The point is, the butterflies eventually fade from any relationship, and sometimes settling isn't so much lowering your standards, as it is learning how to compromise, which is something everyone has to do if they want to be in a happy, loving relationship.

Of course, there are deal breakers in any relationship. My deal breakers are extremely lax; for example, unless you punch me around or refuse to ever spend money, I would probably be willing to have you as a boyfriend (if I were single). The article is pretty long, but I definitely think it's worth the read. Since I know most people won't read it, I'd just like to add the section I think best exemplifies her argument: "My advice is this: Settle! That’s right. Don’t worry about passion or intense connection. Don’t nix a guy based on his annoying habit of yelling “Bravo!” in movie theaters. Overlook his halitosis or abysmal sense of aesthetics. Because if you want to have the infrastructure in place to have a family, settling is the way to go. Based on my observations, in fact, settling will probably make you happier in the long run, since many of those who marry with great expectations become more disillusioned with each passing year. (It’s hard to maintain that level of zing when the conversation morphs into discussions about who’s changing the diapers or balancing the checkbook.) ... I don’t mean to say that settling is ideal. I’m simply saying that it might have gotten an undeservedly bad rap."

In other words, don't be so damn picky. You're not going to find your soul mate because your soul mate doesn't exist. To paraphrase Chris Rock, you won't find someone who loves Jerry Seinfeld and the Wu Tang Clan, and if you do, it won't be the right time. So love the one you're with, or if you're not with someone, learn to be open minded when it comes to relationship expectations. There's a difference between a person not being everything you wish they would be and being a bad partner, y'know? Luckily, my boyfriend is pretty damn near perfect. But if he doesn't start shaving more often, he's getting the boot! Err, well, I guess I can let that one slide, as long as we can compromise that I don't have to shave every day either. Now that's something I could learn to live with.


Andy said...

Yeah SATC is like pretty awesome. I've been totally ADDICTED to it (the show, not the movie) for the past 3 days. I'm almost finishing season 4 (I bought the 6 seasons on Thursday).

About the relationship, I saw the article and I was willing to read it (because I have all this free spare time) but after you posted it I'm super excited to read it.

And I agree, the "soul mate" idea is quite tricky. If you eliminate guys just because there are some little things about him you don't like, you're kind of screwed. Haven't you heard the quote that says "We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly". See? The person who invented it also had our same idea in mind.

Anonymous said...

Halitosis is hot.

No wait, that's Halle Barry... nevermind.

Taryn said...

I dunno Nic, I would really try to enforce the shaving thing. We all know what the mustache looks like.

Strawberry said...

andy - i was sort of kidding when i said i don't have ANY standards for the guys i date, i just meant that you should give people a chance and sometimes those guys you might have considered to be "too short" or "too young" to be a serious boyfriend are the ones you end up being most compatible with.

rod - you would.

t - i freaking LOVE mustaches, you know this.

Bergdorf Brunette said...

i am not compatible with people who are too short

Strawberry said...

bebe - your deal breakers are tougher than mine, haha