Ya, that title is misleadingly provocative. What I mean is I finally saw the Sex and the City movie with my roommates on Thursday night. You all know everything there is to know about it, so I won't bore you with a review of a movie that came out a month ago, but I did want to briefly mention that I liked it a lot. At first I thought it was going to be super lame because of how everything in the first twenty minutes was panning out, but over all I thought it was a perfect end to six great seasons of a show any woman can relate to. And of course, it made me think about love and relationships, and what it really means to be with someone through thick and thin.
I read an article a few months ago titled "Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough", which I promptly forwarded to all of my best girl friends. I found the article through Martini, a happily single and fabulous girl about town who was somewhat skeptical about the whole idea of settling, but I felt strangely inspired and invigorated after reading the piece. Long story short, the author argues that women are often ingrained to have unrealistic expectations when it comes to relationships, particularly that they should never "settle for anything less than butterflies," to quote Carrie Bradshaw. The point is, the butterflies eventually fade from any relationship, and sometimes settling isn't so much lowering your standards, as it is learning how to compromise, which is something everyone has to do if they want to be in a happy, loving relationship.
Of course, there are deal breakers in any relationship. My deal breakers are extremely lax; for example, unless you punch me around or refuse to ever spend money, I would probably be willing to have you as a boyfriend (if I were single). The article is pretty long, but I definitely think it's worth the read. Since I know most people won't read it, I'd just like to add the section I think best exemplifies her argument: "My advice is this: Settle! That’s right. Don’t worry about passion or intense connection. Don’t nix a guy based on his annoying habit of yelling “Bravo!” in movie theaters. Overlook his halitosis or abysmal sense of aesthetics. Because if you want to have the infrastructure in place to have a family, settling is the way to go. Based on my observations, in fact, settling will probably make you happier in the long run, since many of those who marry with great expectations become more disillusioned with each passing year. (It’s hard to maintain that level of zing when the conversation morphs into discussions about who’s changing the diapers or balancing the checkbook.) ... I don’t mean to say that settling is ideal. I’m simply saying that it might have gotten an undeservedly bad rap."
In other words, don't be so damn picky. You're not going to find your soul mate because your soul mate doesn't exist. To paraphrase Chris Rock, you won't find someone who loves Jerry Seinfeld and the Wu Tang Clan, and if you do, it won't be the right time. So love the one you're with, or if you're not with someone, learn to be open minded when it comes to relationship expectations. There's a difference between a person not being everything you wish they would be and being a bad partner, y'know? Luckily, my boyfriend is pretty damn near perfect. But if he doesn't start shaving more often, he's getting the boot! Err, well, I guess I can let that one slide, as long as we can compromise that I don't have to shave every day either. Now that's something I could learn to live with.