Wednesday, November 26, 2008

hey mr. postman

I thought only United States Postal Service employees got disgruntled. Not so, as I have learned now that I am so worldly and living in China. Postal employees of all nationalities, shapes, colors, and smells can indeed be disgruntled. And indeed it is over the same inane crap they get upset about in the States.

I'm the type of girl who loves stickers and glitter and pink ink pens. Who knew, right? Well, apparently there is some kind of sticker law in the world of the postal employee who was waiting on me tonight in which stickers are forbidden, and he expected me to peel off every single one of my perfectly placed postcard stickers (which had adorable commentary, I might add) just so he could scan the things through his automatic stamper and not have to give me a physical stamp.

This could not be, I thought to myself as I sadly ripped a glorious blue shimmery kitten from my Aunt Mary and Uncle Frank's postcard. There has to be another way.

Me:"Um, do you have stamps?"
Him: *blank stare through his long emo bangs that he kept sweeping to the side to show off his eyeliner*
Me: "Um, y'know, a stamp, a real stamp, to put on the post card. Like this *lllLLlllllLl pantamiming the action of licking a stamp and making the accompanying noise*"

He huffed and puffed about actually being expected to perform a job duty, but lo and behold, there was an entire treasure trove of stamps! WTF, man! Why were you holding out on me? So he gives me one for one postcard, but I have 6 postcards, so I ask for more and he shakes his head no. And I say "No I need more" then at this point I might have stomped my feet a little bit like a child and whined, but that's neither here nor there. So he gets his beloved stamp treasure chest back out and throws the stamps in my face to mock me or something, who knows.

Then, I went tit for tat with this fella and whipped out 10 MORE postcards (stickered to the max) that all needed stamps. HA! Take that Mr. Stingy Post Man! What are you gonna do NOW? He threw more stamps at me while the security guard laughed and then waved me over to another desk to lick them all so he wouldn't have to look at me any more.


the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

He just wanted to see you pantomime licking a stamp. Pervert.

Andy said...

No stickers?? How is that possible?

Frank said...

I think something about working in the postal service, regardless of the country it's in, drives you insane.