Tuesday, November 25, 2008

some definitions, by strawberry

In light of one of my more recent posts re: loving a former Korean student, I found it necessary to define a few things for my readers. These are mostly taken from the only reliable dictionary I know of, which is urbandictionary.com. My comments are in italics.

tongue in cheek:
When someone speaks tongue-in-cheek, that means they're joking and kidding.
AKA 80% of the posts I write.

A 40+ year old female who is on the "hunt" for a much younger, energetic, willing-to-do-anything male. The cougar can frequently be seen in a padded bra, cleavage exposed, propped up against a swanky bar in San Francisco (or other cities) waiting, watching, calculating; gearing up to sink her claws into an innocent young and strapping buck who happens to cross her path.

Gimme a few more decades, I'll get there, boys.

strawberry: Equal parts pink princess, redhead, zen master, domestic diva, bitch, sensitive young lady and straight thuggin' gangster. She'll wear a crazy hat or tiara to your party, laugh a ton, mingle, share some homemade goodies with the crowd, then hurry home to talk crap about you all on her blog.
Nuff said.

cradle robber:

A person who taps people significantly younger than he/she is. If X is the older person's age then they are a cradle robber if they date a person who is less than half of their age plus 7 years. But for this function to work, X must be greater than or equal to 18.
I'm not sure I agree with that whole "must be greater than or equal to 18 part", but a decent definition nonetheles

Anyway, I hope these definitions cleared up a few things for you. If you have any more questions that need answering, holla!


the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

For some reason, cougars also hang a lot in airport bars. I guess it's because of the close proximity of hotel rooms.

I like the cradle robber thing. Could you, perhaps, translate that into a mathematical equation. Things look more fancy with x's and y's and exponents.

Andy said...

Yeah, the strawberry definition is close to perfect. You forgot the cupcak part.